Sunday, 31 March 2019

Echo Park in Birmingham: An Interview with Kerry Madden-Lunsford

CRABAPPLE, PRICKLY GOOSEBERRY, bittersweet, and devil’s walking stick — are these the names of thorny old monsters in some dark children’s fairy tale? Nope. They are simply the flora that vine the paths of the forests and hollers of the Smoky Mountains. A brave five-year-old girl named Ernestine must journey through these persnickety snatchers in the early morning shadows in order to deliver mason jars full of fresh milk to the neighbors who live far away. It is 1942, and the husbands are away at war. The wives and mothers run the farms, raise the children, milk the cows. These country neighbors take care of one another in their time of need.

This is the framework for Kerry Madden-Lunsford’s Ernestine’s Milky Way, an achingly poignant tale of independence, resourcefulness, and good old-fashioned neighboring as seen through the eyes of a strong-willed little girl in the wartime South. The illustrations, by Emily Sutton, brush the pages like the powdered wings of butterflies. There are sturdy rock houses and old wooden fences, hand-sewn blankets and dusty banjos, everything surrounded by watercolor bursts of soft country colors — trees, leaves, grass, and plants. Flowers and vines are like their own characters. The facial expressions of the people make you ache for home. Any city-dwelling child is bound to look up at the parent, or teacher, or sibling, or babysitter reading them this story and ask, “Can we please go the woods tomorrow?”

I met Kerry Madden-Lunsford during my first MFA in Creative Writing Residency at Antioch University in Los Angeles. I was immediately drawn to her; she emanates a warm and welcoming vibe, with sparkling blue eyes and a wide, down-home smile. She dresses like a hippie teenager from the ’60s who has met her future self, an older, wiser earth-mother. Currently she directs the Creative Writing program at the University of Alabama-Birmingham, where she covers the desks and tables of her classrooms with books — dozens of picture books and chapter books, and middle-grade and YA, and, sprinkled in between, weathered copies of classics, like cherished relics from a magical library. Reminiscent of your favorite elementary school teacher, she actually writes out the lessons — infused with words of wisdom and anecdotes — in a comforting cursive on the board. She connects with everyone. She connects with their work. She was my first workshop leader, and her editorial letter about the 20 pages I had submitted told me everything I needed to know about her — namely, that she was a very old soul with a very young heart. You can sense this about her. You can feel it flowing from the pages of her books.

I recently visited Kerry at her home in the hills of Echo Park. We sat together over bagels and coffee with her husband Kiffen and their dazzling little dachshund, Olive, to talk about her latest release, the aforementioned Ernestine’s Milky Way, as well as her prior work. 

She is the author of eight books, including the lauded Maggie Valley Trilogy set in the Smoky Mountains of Appalachia. The first in that series, Gentle’s Holler (2005), was a PEN USA finalist in Children’s Literature, and it’s easy to see why. The book shares some strands of Ernestine’s world as it explores the life of a 12-year-old girl and her adventures, with her eight brothers and sisters, in the Smoky Mountains in the early 1960s. It’s heartwarming and heartbreaking at once. Imagine a mash-up between A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and Coal Miner’s Daughter, and you’re nearly there. Mountain country folk ridden with worries about money and bellies swollen from hunger are the characters that anchor Madden-Lunsford’s work. But the families in her stories rely on mutual affection and a resourcefulness that flows like pure mountain spring water to get them through the rough times.

Her December 2018 essay in the Los Angeles Times, “The Christmas Suit,” is a blistering meditation on family addiction — a deeply caring mother’s despairing attempt to stave off the crippling inertia of frustrated emotion. It’s a different side of Kerry, a flip of the coin. It reveals something tender and truthful about a majority of authors who write picture books, middle-grade, and YA: that they are seasoned individuals whose brave flights of fancy trying to survive adult life are the pearls of wisdom hidden in the sealed-shut shells of books that celebrate innocence, or the end of it.

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TIM CUMMINGS: Where did you grow up?

KERRY MADDEN-LUNSFORD: That is a complicated question, though it shouldn’t be. The short answer is that I grew up the daughter of a college football coach, and we moved all the time. For years I said that I lived in 12 states, but my daughter, Norah, reminded me that it’s actually been 13 states. Alabama is lucky number 13. I used to remember all the states by mascots and teams rather than towns. My father’s first coaching job was for Father Lopez’s Green Wave (High School). He married my mother in between football and basketball season.

He was both the coach for both outfits, so he had the basketball season printed on the wedding napkins to build up team support. “Follow Janis and Joe on the Green Wave.” Always the coach, he informed the principal, Sister Annunciata, that the school dance should be held in the library, so the students wouldn’t mess up his gymnasium floor in fancy shoes. He only told me this story a few weeks ago or it would have been in Offsides, my first novel about growing up the daughter of a football coach. Sister Annunciata shut that suggestion down flat, and the dance was held in the gym. I asked him if he chaperoned, and he said, “Hell, no.”

Because some people are going to think that I am the daughter of John Madden, which I am most definitely not, I finally had to write an essay called “I Am Not John Madden’s Daughter.” My father has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia and he sometimes wakes up from naps, talking old football plays or what defense he ran at the Sugar Bowl in 1977 as the defensive coordinator. He did this while we were in Rome a year ago, and my mother said, “Snap out of it! You’re in Rome!”

How did you come to writing?

I’ve told this story once or twice, but I really do credit my fourth-grade teacher, who told me I was a good writer. It was the first time a teacher ever said any such thing. They usually said, “Aren’t you a nice tall girl who listens well?” They said this because I was shy. So it was a relief when a teacher noticed more than height or shyness. That day, I walked around my neighborhood of Ames, Iowa (Iowa State Cyclones), noticing everything, and wrote a story called “The Five Cents,” thinking it was about the “the five senses.” I never was a good speller. I remained a shy kid, and later some of the nuns began to suggest I might have a vocation to join the convent. I wrote about everything, but mostly I read — I read all the time and that absolutely formed me as a writer.

Who are your greatest influences?

My parents were great influences for humor and resilience, but I rebelled quietly because I was not a girly-girl or an athlete (unless field hockey in ninth grade counts, along with golfing on the boys’ team in high school), so I set out to find ways where I could create my own identity away from the gridiron.

I was definitely influenced (terrified) by Helen Keller and facing her fate when I had to get glasses in third grade. The doctor told my mother, “she’s blind without them,” to make a point. When I sobbed in my father’s arms about my horror of going blind (I think I also threw up in the bathroom), he shouted, “By God, nobody is going blind in this house!” I cried, “But how do you know?” “Because I said so!” It made no sense whatsoever, but I believed him.

I adored my babysitter, Ann Kramer, who was a wild tomboy in Ames, Iowa. I loved the coaches’ wives because they were such good storytellers. I was incredibly influenced by my first best friend, Pattie Murphy, in high school because she was so funny and irreverent, presenting a good girl persona to the powers-that-be and then whispering to me filthy things that were horrible and hilarious. We got caught cracking up laughing in the worst places — in class, at midnight Mass, on stage in Ten Little Indians. She was the first friend to make me laugh. We were miraculously “the new girls” at almost the same time in a school, Knox Catholic, where the kids had been together forever; even their parents and some grandparents had attended Knox Catholic.

I was very influenced by my Aunt Jeanne, who gave me books, and my Uncle Michael, who taught me about art. I lost them both to suicide when I was very young, and I wrote about them in Offsides as a way of atoning for not paying more attention. I wrote an essay about that this past summer.

I do think I was most influenced by getting to study abroad at Manchester University my junior year in college. A group of British drama students adopted me and showed me a whole world of art and theater, and I worshipped them for their hilarity and brilliance. I also had wonderful professors in England, who paid attention to me in ways I had never experienced during my first two years at the University of Tennessee. Plus, nobody in England cared if I went to church or watched football. They wanted me to write plays and “drop the grotty trade school occupation of journalism,” and I was very happy to oblige. I’m now writing a novel inspired by that time called Hop the Pond, which also has themes of addiction and features the Brontë sisters and their brother, Branwell.

When I returned to the University of Tennessee from Manchester, I often pretended to be a British exchange student (yes, I was insufferable because I couldn’t bear leaving England for Tennessee). I changed my major to theater, and I came to know my professors in Tennessee who taught us theater history, acting, directing. I was grateful for the encouragement and attention they gave me as a student (and a girl in the South) who wanted to write plays. The only contemporary playwright I knew of at that time was Beth Henley, and I hadn’t yet heard of Wendy Wasserstein.

Our theater department was still cranking out suggested scene study pairings of mostly Inge, Albee, and Williams, and maybe, once in a while, Lillian Hellman. I wanted to write plays, so I stayed in Knoxville after graduation and began an MFA in playwriting. I was the only student in the course at the time, but it gave me two years to learn to teach “Voice and Diction” and to write plays while working at a bookstore. Those two years in Knoxville influenced me because that is when I fell in love with Southern literature. I dropped the faux British accent, and my patient friends were grateful.

Finally, I think my greatest influence just happened this year. She is my cousin, Maureen Madden O’Sullivan — or, simply, Mo. We met for the very first time last May; her grandfather and my great-grandfather — Patrick and Joseph Madden — were brothers in Roscommon, Ireland. Mo and I have lived parallel lives in Los Angeles for 30 years, with many friends in common. She has been sober since 1982, and I have a family member who suffers from addiction, so she has taught me how to really let go — to breathe, to meditate, to eat better, to make gazpacho, to take walks by the sea. She also has stage-four cancer and is doing everything to live and take care of herself, from chemo to acupuncture to meditation to plant medicine to sound therapy to massage to simply taking joy in everything. She is the light of my life, and when I complain about us not meeting sooner, she says, “We met at the perfect time.” She is more evolved than I am.

I have gathered all the letters and texts we have written to each other since May in a compilation, and it’s currently 440 pages. It’s ridiculous, I know, and I don’t know what the project will be, but I am so grateful for Mo. I know I’m a mother, and I love being a mother, but around her I am not a mother. I’m just me again. A friend said I should call the book or whatever it’s going to be: 23 and Me and Mo.

Could you talk about your dual life as director of Creative Writing in Birmingham as well as a working author, teacher, and mother in Los Angeles? 

I’ve been living this unplanned dual two-state life since 2009. I wrote an essay about making the decision to accept a tenure track teaching job in Birmingham, Alabama, and living on an air mattress for a while. I came alone the first year; the second year, my sixth-grade daughter, Norah, joined me and she was like a little cultural anthropologist. She came home from school the first day and said, “We played the name game and we had to say what we liked. And all the kids said they liked only Auburn or Alabama. I know they like their state and ‘auburn’ is a very pretty color, but what I am supposed to choose? When it was my turn, I said, ‘I’m Norah and I like books.’” I realized I had given the child no information about Alabama, so we had a crash course in football so she could catch up. Whenever I hinted at wanting to return to Los Angeles, she would say, “You can go be with Daddy. I like it here. I love it here. All my friends are here. Alabama is great!”

When I realized we were in it for the long haul, we got a rescue dog, Olive, who flies back and forth with me to Los Angeles. I had a terrible flight before we got Olive, awful soul-sucking turbulence, and Norah thought I was crying out “Hell Mary’s” instead of “Hail Mary’s.” After the trip, I vowed to drive or take the train, but it only took a four-day train ride from Los Angeles to Birmingham sitting up in coach class to get me back in the air. Then I got Olive. She has rescued me in countless ways every single day. And she truly is my emotional support animal on planes, along with the occasional emotional support Bloody Mary or glass of red wine.

I love my job as the director of Creative Writing at UAB. I love my students. I learn from them all the time. They come from all walks of life and many of them are first-generation college or they are returning to college later in life. I do miss living with my husband, who has four more years until he retires from LAUSD, but we get to spend summers and holidays together. We also cook and watch movies together. We do this by saying, “One-Two-Three — Go!” and then we hit play at the same time and mostly we’re in sync on Netflix. And because he is a wonderful man, he also goes to visit Mo, and we all have dinner and Skype together.

Our son is in Los Angeles, our middle daughter is in Chicago, and our youngest lives in the dorm at UAB. During the academic year, I live with Olive in what I call my “Alabama Retreat House.” Lots of sweet students and kind faculty drop by from time to time and other friends, too. Birmingham is such a cool city — a bright blue dot in a big red state. One of my L.A. friends visited, and she looked around the house and said, “You’ve created a little Echo Park in Birmingham.” I have filled the place with books and art from mostly “Studio by the Tracks,” where adults on the autism spectrum make art. Started by Ila Faye Miller in what used to be an old gas station, it’s a fantastic studio located in Fannie Flagg’s old neighborhood of Irondale.

I’m currently working on three novels — two are children’s books and one is for adults. I’ve adapted Offsides into a play, and I’m writing a little poetry and always picture books. I am thrilled that Ernestine’s Milky Way, written in this Alabama Retreat House and edited in a 1910 bungalow in Echo Park, has found a home at Schwartz & Wade.

What are your thoughts about the MFA Creative Writing programs these days?

I think they’re valuable because they allow students to find their people. I didn’t find my people in an MFA program, because I was the only student in my program at the time. However, I kind of made my own MFA with a writing group in Los Angeles — we met for 15 years, regularly. Those writers are still some of my dearest friends. I’ve also joined an online group of children’s picture book authors, who are brilliant, and a wonderful local group here of smart women writers. I find I need the feedback and connection with other writers — a kind of forest-for-the-trees thing with all the teaching I do. We also show up and support each other when our books come out.

That is the most valuable aspect to me of the MFA program — finding our people and getting to teach upon graduation. I feel incredibly fortunate to have taught in both a traditional BA and MA program here at UAB and a low-residency MFA program at Antioch University in Los Angeles.

What’s the most important thing you relay to your students?

I hope I encourage my students to trust themselves — to know that they do have a story to tell. I use play in the classroom (storyboarding and making book dummies) and I get them to take risks or chances with writing sparks, exploring narratives. I also talk about the importance of showing up for each other when success comes along. In other words, go to the reading, buy the book, go to the play — it’s such a long and lonely road to go alone, so I encourage them to cheer each other along the way and offer a hand. It’s so much better than being competitive and harboring jealousy.

Of course, it’s natural to feel envy, but I have been so fortunate to have friends who show up and are genuinely pleased, and I hope I do the same for them. I encourage my students to be good literary citizens and also to spend less time online. I offer the advice I need to listen to myself, especially when I fall into the online rabbit hole.

Can you tell us about your love of picture books and children’s literature?

I read to our three kids all the time. My son’s favorite book was Where the Wild Things Are. I even read that book last year to a group of incarcerated men at Donaldson Maximum Security Prison who had never been read aloud to before. I wrote an essay about that experience.

Anyway, I loved reading to our children when they were small, and my husband was a fantastic reader, too. I used to seek out books with great writing and stories. I hid the Berenstain Bears from the kids because I hated books where we had to learn a lesson. I never really thought of writing for kids because I was writing plays and novels for grown-ups. But I began falling in love with stories like Swamp Angel by Anne Isaacs, and anything by William Steig. The kids loved Chris Van Allsburg, as did I, and of course we loved Eric Carle, Margaret Wise Brown, Ruth Krauss, Roald Dahl, Ann Whitford Paul, Cynthia Voigt, Eve Bunting, Jacqueline Woodson, and Lane Smith’s The Happy Hocky Family. There are too many to begin to even name. One of their favorites was “What Luck A Duck” by Amy Goldman Koss, who later became a friend.

We read stacks of books, and as they grew older, they began to tell me what books to read. My son, Flannery, begged me to read The Giver and The Phantom Tollbooth. My daughter, Lucy, fell in love Laurie Halse Anderson’s book, Speak. She wasn’t a huge reader at the time, but she liked that book a lot and said after school one day, “Mom, I felt like reading it at the lunch-table with all my friends around. What it is up with that?”

I read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn out loud to them and we watched the movie together. Norah used to have a little shelf of books in the minivan, because she was terrified of finishing one and not having another at hand. She used to ask me, “Can I bring three books?” and I would say, “You may bring them, but I am not carrying them.” When we moved to a different house a few years ago, we donated 20 boxes of books and it still has not made a dent in all the books we have.

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Tim Cummings holds an MFA from Antioch University Los Angeles. His recent work has appeared in F(r)iction, Lunch Ticket, Meow Meow Pow Pow, From Whispers to Roars, Critical Read, and LARB.

The post Echo Park in Birmingham: An Interview with Kerry Madden-Lunsford appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.



from Los Angeles Review of Books https://ift.tt/2CMGjGb

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Dostoyevsky

HIS NAME WAS DANIEL, he told me, eventually. He’d found me stumbling down the highway near the Hungarian-Croatian border on a sweltering day. I still had a vague hope of getting to Budapest, but by that point I’d given up trying to catch a ride and was seriously dehydrated. Seeing a two-liter bottle peeking out from the roadside grass, I’d run across two lanes to have a look. As I unscrewed the cap, the vapor of heated urine rose up and I fumbled the bottle back to where I’d found it. I kept walking, not holding my thumb up anymore, only trying to scout out a spot over the barrier where I could sleep. While I wasn’t looking, Daniel’s shiny new BMW pulled over in front of me and I bumped into it.

The short, bald, muscular man inside, dripping with sweat, started swearing in French. He asked what the hell I thought I was doing. In my own stuttering French, I thanked him for stopping and asked where he was headed. He told me Romania. Running through the map in my head, I asked whether he could drop me off near Budapest. He said he would and handed me a bottle as I got in. I guzzled the water down, and we sped away.

When I caught my breath, I said he didn’t sound like he was French. Speaking in a mix of stilted English and oddly accented French, he told me he was from Transylvania. He’d trained as an engineer, but there’d been no jobs, so he’d joined the French Foreign Legion. I asked whether it was true that they took on criminals sometimes. “Not if you are a fucking psychopath,” he said. “Not if you killed a bunch of people or burnt down a school. If you just robbed a bank, then maybe yes.”

He’d been a paratrooper in the Congo. He wouldn’t tell me anything more. Instead, he told me about his trip, how he’d started in the south of France and had driven to where he’d picked me up, more than 700 miles, without stopping, except for gas. When I pressed him for stories about the Legion, he looked at me with genuine pain. “Do you want me to tell you how I watched my friends die for the first time? How I left them? No! About how it feels to take life? Non, bien sur.”

He went on to tell me about how he’d fought off malaria in the jungle, how he’d refused field medication because “it tears you up inside.” He told me of the deep shame and guilt he felt over the things he’d had to do. I asked him how he’d survived and how he dealt with those memories. “It took great strength,” he said, pointing to his temple. “If you’re so curious, why don’t you join the Legion? Quelle age are you?” I told him I’d just turned 18. “You’re a child,” he said and asked me what I wanted to do. I told him I wanted to write. “Another good way to get yourself killed.”

Now you may say I didn’t have the right to ask all those questions. I didn’t have his experiences and couldn’t possibly understand his trauma. Besides, ours was just a passing acquaintance. But we came to an understanding that we were two human beings trying to be good. What gave me license to excavate his shame was my relative innocence, my uncurdled curiosity, my belief that he too was trying to be a good man, and my suspicion that talking might help.

After figuring out that I was originally Russian, he told me he’d found some salvation in the works of Dostoyevsky. He’d read of Dostoyevsky’s epileptic Christ character in The Idiot, a man of limitless good who tragically succumbs to his yearning for goodness. Daniel thought that this character’s sacrifice for the sake of others was a worthy one. I unreservedly agreed. Now, Daniel said, he was raising a young son, named Andrei, like my Russian name. He hoped he too would be a good man.

Daniel’s shame was transformative, constructive. He told me that his favorite novel, the one that most defined the shape of his life since the Legion, was The Brothers Karamazov, about a faithful man sent back into the world to deal with the earthly affairs of his family. Of course, it’s about a whole lot of other things too, but that was what Daniel remembered. He concluded that we were all just trying to help each other to be better.

His compassion — and its pairing with an intense interest in Dostoyevsky — wasn’t exactly surprising or unfamiliar to me at the time. In those days, when I was criss-crossing continents hitchhiking, people would ask me whether I liked On the Road. I’d tell them there wasn’t enough hitchhiking in it for my taste, too much roadtripping. What I really liked was Dostoyevsky. I loved The Brothers Karamazov, loved The Idiot, Demons, Crime and Punishment, everything he’d labored over. And I had a suspicion that, if Kerouac had been asked the same question, his mind would have shot off in the same direction, as would the minds of so many literary hitchhikers.

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“What’s the name of that Russian author you’re always talking about — the one who put the newspapers in his shoe and walked around in a stovepipe hat he found in a garbage pail?” Remi Boncoeur asks Sal Paradise in On the Road, sounding more like he’s conjuring up the memory of Diogenes than Dostoyevsky. “This was an exaggeration of what I’d told Remi of Dostoevski,” Sal comments. Remi then goes off about people with faces that deserve a name like Dostoyevsky.

But Kerouac’s allusion has a deeper significance. In certain ways that the writer of history’s greatest hitchhiking novel must have picked up on, Dostoyevsky’s late novels reflect the openness and the vulnerability of standing by a road waiting — hoping — for a car to stop. They reflect the experience of hoping — believing — that the driver will be good.

There’s something about entrusting your welfare to the whims of speeding humanity that is essential to engaging with Dostoyevsky’s radical project, and there’s something about Kerouac that made him particularly successful in that engagement. The two main things Kerouac must have understood about Dostoyevsky, if only because these things chimed with his own life and work, were that there was a powerful yearning for sainthood in Dostoyevsky, a yearning — not necessarily religious, though tinged with Christianity in Dostoyevsky’s case — to be good, to be moral, almost beyond human capacity, and that sainthood is inaccessible without accepting that one must pass through darkness to get there.

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A ride through the south of England made clear to me just how essential this darkness was to the saintly paths Dostoyevsky set out on. The car belonged to an engineer who was apocalyptically obsessed with Demons, which may outdo Crime and Punishment as Dostoyevsky’s scariest novel. He picked me up at a service station near Essex where he’d stopped for a cigarette. He gave me a lift because he remembered hitchhiking from his home to Turkey as a young man.

“Nothing will get better until we exterminate the politicians,” he said, not long into the ride. Brexit had just happened and that sentiment wasn’t new to me — I’d heard it all over Britain — though his phrasing was a little more brutal than the standard rhetoric most of his countrymen offered. “We need some sort of natural disaster that will make people realize that they must oppose their government.”

He had a thin, upper-crust accent and an air of almost threatening confidence and intelligence. He seemed unbelievably efficient. His hair had gone gray but his intensity had not abated, or perhaps it had been renewed. He worked for a wind-power company that was based in Denmark and he was going down to London to attend to some offshore turbines.

His politics tended toward the optimistically catastrophic and the catastrophically optimistic. “It’s a system run by the very few,” he said. “We need London or New York to flood. Or even Tokyo. Something to cause a major depression and cause a real change.” I asked him what would come after, whether he was some form of communist. He denounced that as a failed creed. Instead, he brought up the conspiratorial nihilist group in Dostoyevsky’s Demons. He seemed to view them as a kind of example.

That’s funny, of course, because Dostoyevsky, though he was involved with similar groups as a young man, wrote the book largely as a denunciation. The engineer understood this, but nonetheless he sympathized with the violent conspirators. On my next reading of the novel, I was reminded of his fiery spirit and the group came to much more vivid life.

Eventually, he dropped me off, giving me a firm handshake and wishing me good luck. The hard, pouring rain made hitchhiking a chore, so I ran across a couple of traffic circles, hopped a roadside fence, and crossed a creek. As I walked through the woods, scouting for a level, relatively dry spot to sleep, my mind was filled with the radical notions of bygone days.

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In that forest, as rain droplets pattered on the surface of my tent and water began to drip through, I thought about how Dostoyevsky’s youthful association with that conspiratorial circle in St. Petersburg finally caught up with him. Consequences burst into his room in 1849 in the form of the czar’s soldiers. Later, as he stood in front of a firing squad with his fellow radicals, the thoughts that passed through his head were exactly what you’d expect. “He felt only a mystic terror,” a friend recalled Dostoyevsky’s description half a lifetime later, “and was completely dominated by the thought that in perhaps five minutes he would be going to another, unknown life.” And yet the bullets did not leave their chambers. They never made that swift journey through his flesh.

Anticlimactically, Dostoyevsky and his co-conspirators were led back to their cells. What happened in his head at that moment, the mysterious and powerful operations of his rare neurons, set him apart from the other men who’d stared down the gun barrels with him. It didn’t take long for most of them to fall apart, physically and mentally, following the shock and terror. Dostoyevsky, however, accepted his fate at that moment, and he allowed it to alter him. “Now, deprivation means nothing to me,” he wrote his brother from the cell, and he would later tell his wife that he sang louder that day than he’d ever sung before, so loud that his voice touched its limits, “so happy was I at being given back my life.”

What followed wasn’t the release and amnesty Dostoyevsky had hoped for, but though he would soon be sent off to serve a horrific sentence in a Siberian work camp, that moment changed him, in some ways, for the better. Dostoyevsky’s biographer Joseph Frank claims that, immediately after returning to the cell, the writer experienced a revelation, a “blinding truth that Dostoevsky now understood for the first time — the truth that life itself is the greatest of all goods and blessings, and that man has the power to turn each moment into an ‘eternity of happiness.’”

This understanding wasn’t limited to his life. It permeated his work. It’s what makes reading him so powerful for people like Daniel, the former legionnaire, and for people like Kerouac and me. “If the values of expiation, forgiveness, and love were destined to take precedence over all others in Dostoevsky’s artistic universe,” Frank continues, “it was surely because he had encountered them as a truth responding to the most anguished predicament of his own life.”

This is exactly the sort of sweeping epiphany that Kerouac tried to build toward in his books, and the experiences and motivations that led to those revelations, though not the same, must have felt comparably powerful.

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Kerouac never faced down a firing squad, not a literal one. But he did live with guilt, and he suffered in ways big and small. The primary cause was the death of his older brother Gerard when Kerouac was four years old. In later years, he explicitly associated his brother’s decline with the rise of his own saintly urges and behavior. “The world was his face,” he wrote, “the flower of his face, the pale stooped disposition, the heartbreakingness and the holiness and his teachings of tenderness to me.” He wrote, in Visions of Gerard, that the death didn’t affect him immediately, but it hit him hard enough that he returned to write about it all those years later.

And yet, unlike Dostoyevsky, who found the merits of suffering in huge, almost melodramatic plots, especially in his earlier writing, Kerouac relegated events of that caliber to the sidelines. The first lines of On the Road read, “I first met Dean not long after my wife and I split up. I had just gotten over a serious illness that I won’t bother to talk about, except that it had something to do with the miserably weary split-up and my feeling that everything was dead.” This prominently placed split-up haunts all that follows, but it’s never mentioned again. In the original scroll manuscript, Sal’s comment about “feeling that everything was dead” refers specifically to the death of his father. At some point in the writing process, Kerouac chose to emphasize smaller sufferings.

Kerouac found shades of transformative, transcendent hardship in the mundane experiences of travel. They were there for him to explore because travel isn’t just a continuous shock of freedom and joy; it’s just as often an experience full of obstacles and discomforts, of setbacks and confusion. Fundamentally, the overwhelming excitement that makes travel so compelling is caused by gnawing, impatient longing for the next thing, and by not knowing what comes next.

Kerouac doesn’t shy away from these aspects. He writes about scrounging up money, about being pulled over by humorless cops, about missing his friends, about loneliness and being lost. But it’s not depressing because not only does he not shy away from all this, he focuses on each of those moments. By flinging himself on the world, by accepting all that comes at him, whether good or bad, as beautiful, and by focusing on the smaller things, Kerouac’s books begin to touch a sort of sainthood.

¤

The sun was starting to set and the heat had evaporated by the time Daniel dropped me off on the ramshackle outskirts of Budapest, among the stray dogs and scrap-metal fences. Before he let me go, he made me write down his number, telling me to call him when I got to my friend’s apartment. “I’d like to be sure you’re okay,” he said. But after talking to him, I wasn’t sure he or anyone could ever be fully okay, nor was I sure we wanted to be.

Dostoyevsky and Kerouac were never quite okay. They lived troubled lives, striving toward aspects of goodness, and neither of them lived to grow peaceful and calm, perhaps because they didn’t really want to. Dostoyevsky’s sainthood, to the extent that he achieved it, was hard-won, born of guilt, early onset cynicism, and a lifetime of fuck-ups. Kerouac’s sainthood was shrouded by alcoholism and dissatisfaction. What they shared, and what I think allowed them to experience moments, if not a lifetime, of near inhuman goodness, was a sort of transcendent shame and a willingness to take the good with the bad, to accept the world as they experienced it. I think Daniel experienced those moments too.

Hitchhiking, with all its indignities and discomforts, also forces you to accept those saintly, beautiful moments, if not necessarily to experience some sort of deeper transcendence. Kerouac must have known that. He must have known that the moment you step out with a thumb up, the world can do with you as it likes. He must have known that, to even get to that roadside, you had to believe in the possibility of good, to believe that you can fall in the world and yet, by doing so, paradoxically rise. He must have known that nothing he’d found in literature would prepare him for the surprises and mysteries that the world would throw at him once he gave himself up to it — the difficulties and upsets, and the unexpected joys.

Nothing, that is, except what he’d found in the novels of Dostoyevsky, the secret Patron Saint of Hitchhikers.

¤

Andrew Fedorov is a writer often found in New York and sometimes found walking across countries. Follow him on Twitter @andrewfed.

¤

Banner image by Bradley Gordon.

The post The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Dostoyevsky appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.



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Ferdinand Mount: The Massacre at Amritsar



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David Runciman: Chris Mullin



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John Burnside: At Notre Dame de Reims



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Jon Day: Pigeon Intelligence



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Stephen Alford: Henry’s Wars



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Diana Stone: In Zimbabwe



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Michael Hofmann: Luljeta Lleshanaku



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Edward Luttwak: Abe’s Japan



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Namara Smith: Nick Drnaso



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Hugo Williams: A Bed of Nails



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Christian Lorentzen: Gerald Murnane



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Clair Wills: Plain Brian O’Nolan



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Letters

The letters page from London Review of Books Vol. 41 No. 7 (4 April 2019)

from London Review of Books https://ift.tt/2Yto165

Table of contents

Table of contents from London Review of Books Vol. 41 No. 7 (4 April 2019)

from London Review of Books https://ift.tt/2TyNjvS

Virginia Fends Off Purdue and Naysayers to Reach the Final Four


By JOE DEPAOLO from NYT Sports https://ift.tt/2FLnt4j

This Week’s Wedding Announcements


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2Usbp01

Rebecca Isaacson, Taylor Lustgarten


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2FKosBu

Pressley Baird, Tanner Frevert


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2YBJrhs

Mumu Xu, Joseph Borson


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2WC1wKf

Megan Keane, Alexander Roithmayr


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2WzMEvX

Julie Keys, Andrew Heathfield


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2HP7ggI

Jennifer Weissman, Nicholas Jette


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2FLqO3c

Jennifer Hagan, Adam Humenansky


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2K1Uu0i

Gena Gonzales, Nathan Greenberg


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2FKyy4q

Daniel Leung, Richard Kinnard


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2THVvKd

Carter Hahn, Aaron Hartselle


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2I0lN8t

Carolyn Conley, Gregory Lehman


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2I1aFrW

Ann Dwyer, Thomas Dunn


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2JQ4N7m

Amanda Lee, Derek Ju


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2I2ysrm

Alexandra Armour, Joseph Stein


By Unknown Author from NYT Fashion https://ift.tt/2WzM4ON

What’s on TV Sunday: ‘Veep’ and ‘10 Things I Hate About You’


By GABE COHN from NYT Arts https://ift.tt/2YzSTSq

On ‘S.N.L.,’ Mueller, Barr and Trump Interpret the Final Report Very Differently


By DAVE ITZKOFF from NYT Arts https://ift.tt/2JU28cR

Quotation of the Day: Britons United by Lost Hope, if Nothing Else


By Unknown Author from NYT Today’s Paper https://ift.tt/2FOW29P

No. 3 Texas Tech Upsets No. 1 Gonzaga for First Trip to Final Four


By BILLY WITZ from NYT Sports https://ift.tt/2UmvJjd

Facebook Says Some of Mark Zuckerberg’s Posts Have Been Deleted Due to Technical Errors

(NEW YORK) — Facebook says some of CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s posts on the social media site were deleted due to technical errors.

The company says it is unclear which posts were deleted. Facebook says the posts were mistakenly deleted a few years ago and the work required to restore them was extensive and might not have worked.

The deleted posts were first reported by Business Insider. All posts from 2007 and 2008 have been deleted, according to the report.

The way Facebook shares company information has changed over the years. It introduced its current “Newsroom” page in 2014 and shares and archives major company announcements there.



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France’s ‘Yellow Vest’ Protestors March for 20th Consecutive Weekend Despite Bans and Injuries

Beto O’Rourke Formally Kicks Off His 2020 Presidential Campaign With 3 Rallies Across Texas

Judge Throws Out President Trump’s Executive Order Overturning Obama-Era Arctic Drilling Ban

Second Illinois State Trooper Killed in 3 Days in Highway Crash

Stevie Nicks and Janet Jackson Enter the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame by Calling for More Women Inductees

Pope Francis Visits Morocco to Boost Christian-Muslim Relations and Support Migrant Communities

Lil Nas X on ‘Old Town Road’ and the Billboard Controversy

German Police Arrest 11 People Suspected of Planning Terrorist Attack

President Trump Pledges to Help Navy SEAL Charged With Fatally Stabbing Iraqi Prisoner

New top story on Hacker News: The connection between gender, gentrification, and household size

The connection between gender, gentrification, and household size
9 by jctwinkle | 10 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: The Last Ride of Cowboy Bob (2005)

The Last Ride of Cowboy Bob (2005)
7 by curtis | 0 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: First government survey of hikikomori

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6 by Ultramanoid | 0 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Listening to Ketamine

Listening to Ketamine
40 by pmcpinto | 43 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Show HN: Tinytetris – 80 x 23 Terminal Tetris

Show HN: Tinytetris – 80 x 23 Terminal Tetris
68 by taylorconor | 19 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Ampere EMAG 64bit Arm Workstation

Ampere EMAG 64bit Arm Workstation
27 by robin_reala | 21 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Bezos Investigation Says the Saudis Obtained His Private Data

Bezos Investigation Says the Saudis Obtained His Private Data
461 by NN88 | 135 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Timestamps and Time Zones in PostgreSQL

Timestamps and Time Zones in PostgreSQL
95 by GordonS | 33 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: One man turns annoying cold calls into cash

One man turns annoying cold calls into cash
266 by Jerry2 | 92 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: What companies does Google own?

What companies does Google own?
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New top story on Hacker News: Sony to slash smartphone workforce

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New top story on Hacker News: The key to building an idea seems to be blind faith

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New top story on Hacker News: Shadama: A Particle Simulation Programming Environment

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New top story on Hacker News: A barber shop on wheels that you book via an app

A barber shop on wheels that you book via an app
119 by happy-go-lucky | 147 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: How London thieves exploit organisational silos

How London thieves exploit organisational silos
27 by jakublangr | 7 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: RaptorQ and performance optimization in Rust

RaptorQ and performance optimization in Rust
103 by raccoonone | 41 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Making Chip Packaging Simpler

Making Chip Packaging Simpler
43 by SemiTom | 1 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Burnout caused by chronic stress is widespread

Burnout caused by chronic stress is widespread
256 by howard941 | 112 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Show HN: Grassland – Real-Life SimCity

Show HN: Grassland – Real-Life SimCity
113 by david_at | 68 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Researchers Find Google Play Store Apps Were Government Malware

Researchers Find Google Play Store Apps Were Government Malware
91 by 0xmohit | 21 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Undiscovered yeast species could change our world

Undiscovered yeast species could change our world
3 by pseudolus | 0 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Statistically Controlling for Confounding Constructs Is Harder Than We Think

Statistically Controlling for Confounding Constructs Is Harder Than We Think
34 by Veedrac | 1 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Laptops to Stay in Bags as TSA Brings New Technology to Airports

Laptops to Stay in Bags as TSA Brings New Technology to Airports
140 by emptybits | 156 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Paul Vixie thinks more people should be running their own DNS servers

Paul Vixie thinks more people should be running their own DNS servers
110 by indigodaddy | 82 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Cryptography of SSH (2006)

Cryptography of SSH (2006)
48 by kidbomb | 3 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Lazarus Lake, the Man Behind the Barkley Marathons

Lazarus Lake, the Man Behind the Barkley Marathons
23 by joegahona | 5 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Addition Font

Addition Font
123 by KirinDave | 16 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Creating a Starcraft AI – Part 22: Caveat Implementor

Creating a Starcraft AI – Part 22: Caveat Implementor
71 by pplonski86 | 0 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: How Mosquitoes Sniff Out Human Sweat To Find Us

How Mosquitoes Sniff Out Human Sweat To Find Us
45 by furcyd | 15 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Radicle Architecture

Radicle Architecture
12 by jkarni | 1 comments on Hacker News.


Suspect arrested in University of South Carolina student's death - 10TV

  1. Suspect arrested in University of South Carolina student's death  10TV
  2. South Carolina man charged with kidnapping and murder of University of South Carolina student  Fox News
  3. Missing University of South Carolina Samantha Josephson's death confirmed by university  News 19 WLTX
  4. ‘It’s just not fair’ Community saddened and stunned after night out turns to tragedy  WIS10
  5. South Carolina college reports death of student, 21, a day after she climbed into car she thought was her r...  Fox News
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Democrats: Disarm for the Sake of the American People - RealClearPolitics

  1. Democrats: Disarm for the Sake of the American People  RealClearPolitics
  2. ‘Saturday Night Live’ Cold Open: Robert De Niro’s Mueller Fails to Find Trump Guilty of Collusion  Deadline
  3. 'SNL' has Baldwin's Trump and De Niro's Mueller summarize the Mueller report  CNN
  4. When is a summary not a summary?  The Washington Post
  5. Kristin Bianco: Anti-Trump media should apologize for biased reporting on fake Russia-collusion story  Fox News
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Elizabeth Warren says big agriculture companies should be broken up - The Boston Globe

  1. Elizabeth Warren says big agriculture companies should be broken up  The Boston Globe
  2. Storm Lake, Iowa, Draws 2020 Democratic Candidates To Rural America  NPR
  3. Warren, Klobuchar agree on breaking up Big Ag  ABC News
  4. 2020 Democrats campaign across the US: Live updates  CNN
  5. Democrats, Militant or Healers, Make Play for Trump's Rural Base  Bloomberg
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Beto O'Rourke kicks off three Texas rallies with a focus on the border - NBC News

  1. Beto O'Rourke kicks off three Texas rallies with a focus on the border  NBC News
  2. Beto O’Rourke talks immigration at formal campaign kickoff near southern border  Fox News
  3. Beto O'Rourke says nation's political hierarchy must be 'broken apart' at first rally in El Paso  CNN
  4. 2020 Election: Here's the One Number to Look for to Know Which Dem Is Doing Well  The Daily Beast
  5. Beto O'Rourke kicks off his grassroots campaign in El Paso, TX  Cengiz Adabag News
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Earth Hour: Switching off lights to highlight climate change - BBC News

  1. Earth Hour: Switching off lights to highlight climate change  BBC News
  2. Cities across the world go dark for Earth Hour | TheHill  The Hill
  3. Earth Hour 2019: Lights around the world are turning off for Earth Hour to help save the planet today; Here's when to turn lights off in support of the earth today  CBS News
  4. Column: Join in on “Earth Hour 2019” tonight  WTOP
  5. Earth Hour 2019: What is Earth Hour? What time is it in the UK?  Express.co.uk
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Trump steps in on behalf of Navy SEAL charged with war crimes - Los Angeles Times

  1. Trump steps in on behalf of Navy SEAL charged with war crimes  Los Angeles Times
  2. Trump says Navy SEAL accused of war crimes will be moved to ‘less restrictive confinement’  Fox News
  3. Trump intervenes in case of Navy SEAL charged with murder  POLITICO
  4. Trump: Navy SEAL charged with murder moving to 'less restrictive confinement'  CNN
  5. Donald Trump Tweets Support of Navy SEAL Accused of War Crimes  Newsweek
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Ukraine election: Comedian is front-runner ahead of first round - BBC News

  1. Ukraine election: Comedian is front-runner ahead of first round  BBC News
  2. A Comedian Plays Ukraine's President On TV. Will He Become One In Real Life?  NPR
  3. In Ukraine's election, a comedian might be voters' best choice  CNN
  4. Putin stands to be the biggest loser of Ukraine's elections | TheHill  The Hill
  5. Comedian in front as curtain rises on Ukrainian presidential election  Reuters
  6. View full coverage on Google News


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State trooper killed in I-94 crash survived being hit by car early in career - Chicago Sun-Times

  1. State trooper killed in I-94 crash survived being hit by car early in career  Chicago Sun-Times
  2. Illinois state trooper killed in wrong-way crash, marking 2nd death in 3 days  Fox News
  3. Illinois state trooper struck, killed by wrong-way driver near Libertyville  WGN TV Chicago
  4. Illinois State Police Trooper Gerald Ellis dies after being hit by wrong-way driver near Libertyville  WLS-TV
  5. Procession for Illinois State Trooper killed in crash  MyStateline.com
  6. View full coverage on Google News


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Enivronmental activist elected as Slovakia's first female president - CBS News

  1. Enivronmental activist elected as Slovakia's first female president  CBS News
  2. Zuzana Caputova becomes Slovakia's first female president  BBC News
  3. Zuzana Caputova Is Elected Slovakia’s First Female President  The New York Times
  4. These Populists Aren’t Like the Others  Bloomberg
  5. Slovakia elects first female president | TheHill  The Hill
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2 Similar Supreme Court Death Penalty Cases With Divergent Outcomes - NPR

2 Similar Supreme Court Death Penalty Cases With Divergent Outcomes  NPR

Two Supreme Court decisions just hours before a scheduled execution. Two decisions just seven weeks apart. Two decisions on the same issue. Except that in ...

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Judge scraps Trump order for Arctic, Atlantic oil leasing - AOL

  1. Judge scraps Trump order for Arctic, Atlantic oil leasing  AOL
  2. Judge rules Trump executive order allowing offshore drilling in Arctic Ocean unlawful  CNN
  3. Trump’s Order to Open Arctic Waters to Oil Drilling Was Unlawful, Federal Judge Finds  The New York Times
  4. Federal judge declares Trump’s push to open up Arctic and Atlantic oceans to oil and gas drilling illegal  The Washington Post
  5. Federal judge overrules Trump order, restores Obama-era drilling ban in Arctic  NBCNews.com
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At least two killed in Gaza as thousands of Palestinians demonstrate near Israeli border - Fox News

  1. At least two killed in Gaza as thousands of Palestinians demonstrate near Israeli border  Fox News
  2. Gaza protests: Thousands mark 'Great Return' anniversary  BBC News
  3. Gaza's protests explained | Al Jazeera English  Cengiz Adabag News
  4. A year after the Great March of Return, Palestinians are still fighting for freedom  The Washington Post
  5. Israel is trying to maim Gazans into silence  Al Jazeera English
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This Colorado sheriff is willing to go to jail rather than enforce a proposed gun law - CNN

This Colorado sheriff is willing to go to jail rather than enforce a proposed gun law  CNN

Weld County Sheriff Steve Reams disagrees so much with a gun bill making its way through the Colorado legislature that he's willing to go to jail rather than ...



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19-year-old shot and killed after knocking on wrong apartment door - KTRK-TV

19-year-old shot and killed after knocking on wrong apartment door  KTRK-TV

Police say the victim was returning home to his new apartment when he knocked on the wrong door.

View full coverage on Google News

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US struggling with growing number of asylum seekers - ABC News

  1. US struggling with growing number of asylum seekers  ABC News
  2. Asylum seekers at US-Mexico border in limbo under Trump policies | Al Jazeera English  Al Jazeera English
  3. Spring Brings Surge of Migrants, Stretching Border Facilities Far Beyond Capacity  The New York Times
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Controversy over prayer before lawmaker's swearing-in - CNN

  1. Controversy over prayer before lawmaker's swearing-in  CNN
  2. Controversy over prayer before lawmaker's swearing-in  Cengiz Adabag News
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(WARNING: GRAPHIC VIDEO) Vallejo PD release footage of shooting in Taco Bell drive-thru - KMPH Fox 26

  1. (WARNING: GRAPHIC VIDEO) Vallejo PD release footage of shooting in Taco Bell drive-thru  KMPH Fox 26
  2. California police release bodycam footage of fatal shooting of rapper  Fox News
  3. Bodycam Footage Shows Vallejo Police Shoot Willie McCoy While Asleep in Car  The Root
  4. Willie McCoy: Rapper shot dead by police was sleeping, video shows  The Independent
  5. Police release body cam video of fatal Taco Bell drive-thru shooting, family plans to file lawsuit  KCTV Kansas City
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North Korea says Madrid embassy raid was 'grave terror attack' - BBC News

  1. North Korea says Madrid embassy raid was 'grave terror attack'  BBC News
  2. The day North Korea talks collapsed, Trump passed Kim a note demanding he turn over his nukes  CNBC
  3. North Korea says embassy raid in Spain was a 'grave terrorist attack'  Reuters
  4. Trump undercuts 'maximum pressure' strategy on North Korea | TheHill  The Hill
  5. Why Trump’s sanctions aren’t working  The Washington Post
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Investigation clouds Oklahoma icon's distinguished legacy - ABC News

Investigation clouds Oklahoma icon's distinguished legacy  ABC News

David Boren's appointment as president of the University of Oklahoma two decades ago was the capstone of a storied career. Born into a prominent Oklahoma ...

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Trump going after Obamacare again is a political gift to 2020 Democrats - Washington Examiner

  1. Trump going after Obamacare again is a political gift to 2020 Democrats  Washington Examiner
  2. The Memo: GOP frets as Trump squanders advantages | TheHill  The Hill
  3. For Trump’s ‘Party of Healthcare,’ there is no health-care plan  The Washington Post
  4. Trump is trying to kill Obamacare again and Democrats couldn't be happier  CNBC
  5. The Mick Mulvaney Presidency  The New York Times
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Jakelin Caal Maquin Autopsy Shows She Died Of Sepsis Infection - NPR

Jakelin Caal Maquin Autopsy Shows She Died Of Sepsis Infection  NPR

Jakelin Caal Maquin was in the custody of U.S. Customs and Border Protection when the infection led to the failure of multiple organs, according to the report.



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Saturday, 30 March 2019

The Week in Arts: Martha Graham, ‘Ink’ and Let’s Eat Grandma


By THE NEW YORK TIMES from NYT Arts https://ift.tt/2HL2TDn

What’s on TV Saturday: ‘S.N.L.’ and ‘Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again’


By SARA ARIDI from NYT Arts https://ift.tt/2uBjGQo

The Dangerous Flaws in Boeing’s Automated System


By MIKA GRÖNDAHL, KEITH COLLINS and JAMES GLANZ from NYT Business https://ift.tt/2ux77Wx

Esto es Estados Unidos: ¿Usted es ciudadano de este país?


By Por THE NEW YORK TIMES from NYT Universal https://ift.tt/2V4uQc5

White House Blames Fed for Slowing Economic Growth


By KATIE ROGERS from NYT U.S. https://ift.tt/2Uh3ceV

David Boren, Former University of Oklahoma President, Faces Sexual Misconduct Allegations


By CHRISTOPHER MELE from NYT U.S. https://ift.tt/2WxdkgU

Rangers Rally to Deal Blues Setback in Playoff Race


By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS from NYT Sports https://ift.tt/2Wxtmaz

North Carolina Is Ousted by Fifth-Seeded Auburn; Kentucky Survives Against Houston


By JOE DRAPE from NYT Sports https://ift.tt/2U3Ok4n

Duke Is Pushed to the Limit by Virginia Tech


By MARC TRACY and KEVIN ARMSTRONG from NYT Sports https://ift.tt/2TIMBMz

What to Do When You’re Bored With Your Routines


By Unknown Author from NYT Smarter Living https://ift.tt/2Ubaf9S

Workplace Kudos


By CAITLIN LOVINGER from NYT Crosswords & Games https://ift.tt/2FFyvqa

Alex Jones says 'form of psychosis' made him believe events like Sandy Hook massacre were staged - CNN

  1. Alex Jones says 'form of psychosis' made him believe events like Sandy Hook massacre were staged  CNN
  2. How Alex Jones and Infowars Helped a Florida Man Stalk Sandy Hook Families  The New York Times
  3. InfoWars' Alex Jones claims a 'psychosis' caused him to question Sandy Hook massacre  NBC News
  4. Alex Jones' Deposition On Sandy Hook Shooting  HuffPost
  5. Alex Jones blames 'psychosis' for his Sandy Hook conspiracy theory  New York Post
  6. View full coverage on Google News


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Man arrested after police chase through San Fernando Valley; 5 Freeway remains closed - Los Angeles Times

Man arrested after police chase through San Fernando Valley; 5 Freeway remains closed  Los Angeles Times

Authorities have arrested a man who barricaded himself in his car on the 5 Freeway after a chase through the San Fernando Valley on Friday night. Traffic was ...

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New top story on Hacker News: Totaled Teslas contain unencrypted and personally revealing data about owners

Totaled Teslas contain unencrypted and personally revealing data about owners
14 by United857 | 12 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Why People Run BSD

Why People Run BSD
5 by vetelko | 0 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: What Finally Killed AirPower

What Finally Killed AirPower
153 by wp381640 | 129 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Section 230 created the internet as we know it. Don’t mess with it

Section 230 created the internet as we know it. Don’t mess with it
10 by ilamont | 6 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Facebook 'mistakenly deleted' years of Mark Zuckerberg's old Facebook posts

Facebook 'mistakenly deleted' years of Mark Zuckerberg's old Facebook posts
172 by crones | 76 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: The Day the Dinosaurs Died

The Day the Dinosaurs Died
156 by Deinos | 32 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: We moved our servers to Iceland

We moved our servers to Iceland
87 by soheilpro | 29 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: The creation of the io.latency block I/O controller

The creation of the io.latency block I/O controller
33 by ot | 7 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Apple Cancels AirPower Product

Apple Cancels AirPower Product
554 by gtCameron | 424 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Intel lays off hundreds of tech administrators

Intel lays off hundreds of tech administrators
144 by mykowebhn | 49 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: SPARCbook 3000ST

SPARCbook 3000ST
167 by Breadmaker | 74 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: From optics engineer to founder of YC-backed material sciences company

From optics engineer to founder of YC-backed material sciences company
40 by cbcowans | 12 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Bay Area housing prices drop in tech-heavy counties

Bay Area housing prices drop in tech-heavy counties
160 by ra7 | 201 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: YouTube’s Product Chief on Online Radicalization and Algorithmic Rabbit Holes

YouTube’s Product Chief on Online Radicalization and Algorithmic Rabbit Holes
143 by Bhilai | 204 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Magnetic Bearings Might Keep Motor Spinning for Millennia

Magnetic Bearings Might Keep Motor Spinning for Millennia
152 by oedmarap | 59 comments on Hacker News.


New top story on Hacker News: Facebook launches searchable transparency library of all active ads

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Death and Magic

THERE’S A MAGIC TRICK toward the end of Darío Guerrero’s 2017 film Rocío, which documents the death of the filmmaker’s mother, Rocío Meneses Díaz. A magician at a Halloween party makes a few small toys disappear, then reappear in a child’s hand. The scene is a flashback — one of many, all clips from Guerrero’s childhood home movies. The trick ushers in footage of Rocío’s final days, pairing life’s mysteries with death’s realities.

It is rare to encounter such an unyielding portrait of dying in film. Many depictions — when not sensationally violent — can seem cursory or mawkish. But Rocío doesn’t flinch. The film bears witness to the excruciating course of an incurable illness, the cancer steadily killing its subject. Guerrero walks us through the intensely private discussions the family must have about wills, cremation, where Rocío’s ashes should rest, and whether she would prefer to die at home in the United States or in her birth country of Mexico. Rocío herself is warm, funny, fiercely perceptive. It is difficult not to fall in love with her, and it is shattering to watch her fade away. Still, the film manages to revel in wonder, revealing death as a process not just wrenching but also magical.

¤

Death is a topic often skirted in this country, as if denying it is akin to defying it. In the United States, we pay enormous economic and emotional costs for our reticence to speak openly about dying, from a majority of Americans not having their end-of-life plans in place to individuals being forced to face their gravest fears in silence and isolation.

Such ardent disavowals are historically and globally atypical. In A Brief History of Death (2014), W. M. Spellman traces how dying has been a central preoccupation of human civilization. Since at least the eighth millennium BCE, when the inhabitants of central Turkey’s agricultural settlement Çatalhöyük buried the dead beneath their living spaces, we have kept death close to us. By the end of the 19th century, when births and deaths both took place in the home, Americans were far more familiar with many aspects of dying than we are now. Before it became largely confined to hospitals and hospices, death was more like the event in Guerrero’s film: openly discussed and communally shared, its magic celebrated.

Rocío’s magic is not naïve. It is a tool of reflection and engagement. Some scholars have advocated that magical perspectives be taken seriously within professional practice. A nascent field of social research, these inquiries attempt to define what magic actually is. In his 2008 book, The Sorcerer’s Tale: Faith and Fraud in Tudor England, Alec Ryrie argues that magic occupies the ambiguous spaces that science and religion tend to avoid. It conjures the “inexplicable,” the things that happen before our eyes but that we don’t (yet) understand.

Rocío seems to share Ryrie’s view. Sitting in the family room, her back turned to her son, Rocío cautions Darío to be careful with the knife he just dropped on the kitchen floor. “How did you know it was a knife?” he asks. “Because I’m your mother,” she says. “That’s mother’s intuition.” The film captures such everyday enchantment, including unorthodox therapies, the magical touches of loved ones and caregivers, and the uplifting landscapes of familial homes and ancestral homelands.

Magic disrupts. Where conventional wisdom advises us to suppress matters that defy rational thought, a language of magic uniquely illuminates the ineffable processes of trauma and grief. By embracing the eccentric or implausible, magic suspends invidious value judgments, providing a compassionate approach to subjective differences.

Magic is also agnostic. It celebrates ambiguity and acknowledges that we don’t have all the answers. Today, skepticism is often embraced as intellectually sophisticated. But, as Ryrie notes, during the Renaissance — when new continents were being discovered and the Earth was suddenly thought to revolve around the Sun — cynics were scorned. “[W]hen you have adopted a new mathematics, a new astronomy, a new geography and a new religion,” he writes, “why balk at a new magic?”

Magic continues to pick up the slack in areas where reason and faith fall short — deficiencies of which Rocío persistently reminds us. Guerrero’s father, debating whether to go to church to pray for his wife, laments, “You’re supposed to ask some pendejo for help. It’s all bullshit.” Later, while speaking to Darío, his grandfather tells him, “The Earth is round. There’s no arguing that.” “What keeps the water from falling?” Darío asks. “That’s it,” affirms his grandfather. “What mystery keeps all the water in place?” That a scientific answer exists is irrelevant. Outside the house where Rocío is dying, wondering what holds everything together is contemplation enough.

¤

A central theme of Rocío is that impermanence is, paradoxically, the only reality we can trust. Change is a constant to which we are forced to acquiesce. Dreaming, waking, breathing, becoming. Death, Rocío illustrates, is just one more transition in a series. Death — a transformation that breaches our reality — displays magic’s most elemental character. The death of a loved one can appear almost like a kind of tragic trick. Something permanent has been lost, violating the world as it should be.

We have established mechanisms to protect us from the shock of death, sequestering it within certain rituals and institutions. But Rocío reveals the illusory nature of these supposed safeguards and the limits of our capacity for compartmentalization. This becomes particularly apparent in the way Guerrero manipulates narrative time. The film’s seamless slippage between past and present makes it easy to lose your bearings. But there are also times when the cuts can seem quite jarring. The film’s flashbacks work the way our memories do: suddenly prompted by the emotions of the moment.

Guerrero is an especially adept editor. Disparate as they may seem, the clips he chooses connect precisely, each preparing the essential truth of the next. Nestled between footage of a fading Rocío is a video of young Darío playing in the family’s backyard. “The rose has withered,” his father says while filming flowers along the fence. Memory, time, and place are not neatly partitioned but in constant, messy relation with one another. This scene reminds us that the line separating us from death is as thin as the line distinguishing our memories from our present realities.

The film also highlights the role administrative systems play in the regulation of our daily lives. Two social systems emerge as central: immigration and health care. While making the film, Guerrero himself had a harrowing experience with immigration authorities. An undergraduate at Harvard, he traveled to Mexico to be with his mother during her treatment but was uncertain — despite being a DACA recipient — whether he would be allowed to return to the United States. The story made national headlines when he was eventually granted temporary humanitarian parole, allowing him to fulfill his mother’s final wishes: to carry her ashes to the family’s home in Los Angeles and then complete his degree.

As for the health-care system, Guerrero documents what happens when we come face to face with the limits of our medical knowledge. When young Darío tells his mother that she defied the odds, surpassing the “matter of weeks” the experts gave her, she responds, “Those bastards. Now I’m not leaving.” She refuses to succumb, and Guerrero makes a point of showing us the downside of hope. Rocío drinks countless health smoothies and swallows Chinese weevils like pills. “First one to vomit loses,” she laughs. Finally, she enters treatment at a holistic center in Tijuana, where she submits to chelation therapy, a flavorless diet, and hyperthermia sessions. She can barely eat. There are ants everywhere and spiders on the walls. “Maybe if you vacuumed this place there would be less bugs,” Rocío says. “We don’t have a vacuum,” the nurse replies. When Rocío expresses doubt, her husband takes his frustrations out on her. These moments are some of the most painful to watch. In the film’s final scenes, when she is too weak to respond, he apologizes: “Forgive me for everything I couldn’t do.”

The treatment center directs our attention less to the futility of alternative medicine than to the fictitious nature of every promise of salvation. The film examines the immaterial distinctions between prayer, magic, and experimental treatments, the elusive border between future and past, and the imagined margins that separate cultures. In the face of death, such divisions only grow in absurdity. The film suggests an alternative to our death anxieties: if the structural features of our physical and political worlds are contrived, then maybe, like magicians, we can bend time and space to our will, empowering ourselves far beyond our fragile bodies and transient systems.

Rocío opens with a passage from a poem by Nezahualcóyotl, a 15th-century Acolhuan philosopher: “Is it true that we only exist on the earth? Not forever on earth but only for an instant?” If the film is to be seen as a response to this question, it would seem that the answer is “no.” Who is to say we can’t reorganize the chronology of our lives as we see fit, living as if past, present, and future run forever alongside each other? This is what cinematic flashbacks always offer — an alternative construction of time, in which people never age, death is suspended, and return is possible. It is — as hope, magic, and curiosity have always been — an attempt to bend the rules as we know them.

¤

Played over footage of Rocío’s funeral procession is a toast from her quinceañera: “Rocío, wherever you go, near, far, and in between […] from this point on, all the joy that exists in the universe will fall upon you.” Just as we might see the twinkle of a star that has long since faded, Rocío’s light has not dimmed. There is a place where Earth has yet to be, where you and I have not been born, where our loved ones are still alive.

In Rocío, magic references our collective capacity to insist on confidence over doubt, determination over vacillation, optimism over pessimism. Such emotional fortitude is what drives humankind to innovate, create, and discover. Chemistry, physics, astronomy, medicine — each was once upon a time ridiculed as “magic.” If — as Ryrie observes — magic, science, and religion are long-lost siblings, then perhaps we could take magic’s sisterly advice “that incredulity and credulity can sometimes be just as stupid as each other.”

Before the final credits roll, we are shown a home video of Guerrero’s parents, newly married. “The enchantment has worn off,” Darío’s father jokes. Hearing these words after Rocío has passed seems a heartrending nod to hope’s end. But we can also hear them as originally intended, in jest. The honeymoon is not over. This family is forever enchanted.

Darío used to sit in his mother’s lap. In the film, she lies in his. “It’s the same,” his father says. From generation to generation, we carry the dead. There is nothing more powerful than feeling our loved ones in our bones, in every word and action, long after they’ve gone, not as faint remnants but as substantive continuations. Rather than half-dying in grief, we become a testament to those we’ve lost. Rocío reveals life’s most exquisite, magical charge: to embody the transcendent by living for our dead.

¤

Meghan Gilbride writes about art and culture. More information can be found at her website.

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